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Linguistically challenged
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| Crackpot dreams |
[21 Sep 2006|10:51pm] |
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 cold |
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music |
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Voltaire |
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So I had this dream last night:
I’m swimming furiously in an ocean somewhere at night, I know this because the water is salty, but have no idea which one. With me also swimming as fast as they are able are several dead presidents. Jackson, Taft, Carter, Bush Sr, Bush Jr, Kennedy, Clinton, and ones I don’t even recognize are all alongside me, a veritable sea of dead presidents. At first I can’t figure out why we are swimming so wildly until out of the inky black depths a giant sized Abe Lincoln rears up and drags Taft’s fat ass down into the murk. Abe is the great white of dead president’s apparently.
Our efforts redoubled the remainder of us are churning through ocean faster than ever when Abe comes back for more. Fortunately, since this is a dream I can see clearly through the salt water, in the night for quite a ways down before it turns oily and black. Abe comes up snarling like a wildcat with a long dripping beard and a fierce scowl painted with sharp teeth jutting out in every direction. He bites Jackson’s midriff in two and proceeds to tear the halves apart in a joyous celebration of insanity.
As we swim to some unknown and by now highly coveted destination Abe continues to come up and drag dead president’s down into the depths of the sea. Well a few of us finally make it to land, which is a little cozy street with gas streetlamps and a quiet and peaceful tree lined landscape. This street is feet away from the beach apparently. The few of us left are, Carter, Clinton, Stephen Colbert, and me. Did I mention he was there? He was.
Now its still night and we are on a street now with a crazy fog rolling in on us. Colbert is yelling about how he didn’t vote for Carter when a giant bear runs out and attacks him. He starts screaming “I told you about the fucking radical bear agenda.” After standing there screaming that three or four times the bear claws him to death. At this point the fog is completely ridiculous and we have no idea where we are.
Clinton and Carter start to argue and then Clinton just disappears into nothing. Now it’s down to me and Carter just walking in silence in the thickest fog I have ever seen. Abruptly, it just ends and the suns out and Carter lets out a sigh and says “Fucking pansies, I win.”
Then I woke up late for work. Now. What – The – Fuck does that dream mean? God damn insanity is what it was. I kind of knew it was a dream but it was realistic and in color. Weird eh.
-Dan
Pterydactl porn = very disturbing
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| Cluttering your friends page |
[19 Aug 2006|05:07pm] |
Here I am. A post by Dan. Sacrilegious in the extreme with a muttering of denial.
Snakes. On. A. Plane.
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| Easily forgotten |
[11 Jul 2006|11:15pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Anberlin |
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Things ill used are easily mishandled and forgotten. I do harbor a belief that my walls of sarcasm and uncaring will in the end prove worse than what they were protecting me against.
First post in such a long a time and yet so emo. My my what has become of me. Laugh it off and put on the mask and smile. Mask and smile. Or is it the smile and then the mask. I forget.
My neck hurts for no good reason, did I jerk in my sleep? They have been terrible lately, utter descents into a new breed of madness I design for myself. How far can I go before it all breaks down? I'm always so tired. I'm smiling now but it holds little mirth. So livejournal, what are you going to do for me? Nothing you say. Nothing sounds very much to little. I shall take your nothing and raise you a surprised look.
Tommorrow John comes to town and I do hope I get to hang out with him. Damn you call at 12:15, damn you to hell. Reel Big Fish on the 22nd. Just a reminder to myself to make me remember. I also need to schedule these two root canals so I can eat on the left side of my mouth again. The thought alone makes me feel good. Eight months of neglecting my left side. Oh how it must despise me.
I am awake when I want to sleep. I am awakened by the howling of a small dog. Good ole Lucky always delivers. You make sense to me.
Ha I just saw the picture of me at disney world of me attempting to sexually molest a tree. My mom always took good pictures. Good times. Damn you hotel tree in a pot for resisting my charms.
My scraggly beard makes my face feel greasy. Probably because I rub it to much. So maybe its my nasty greasy hands that make my face greasy. Either way it's the beards fault. I could use an orange right about now.
We saw the Oregon Trail, heaped high with piles of dead daughters.
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| Lost in transition |
[06 Apr 2006|10:34pm] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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music |
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Matisyahu - check my myspace to hear em |
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I've somewhere lost the will to write. At all. It's kind of sad but I can't seem to muster the urge. I wish I could and the confidence to write whats still floating around in my head. It needs to coalesce. Beyond that I haven't anything aside from daily activities filling my time.
At work my progression to the new job has ended. I get to settle things down there a little. Plus, driving around fixing peoples computers is refreshing and a bit contemplative. The new car should be in soon and we can go back to 5 day work weeks instead of 4. Three days off is nice but 10 hour days kind of drag on.
I still have no tan, which saddens me to a level of epic proportions. I haven't made it to the beach to skim outside of three times and I'm starting to fiend. Plus, I need a tan so my teeth look whiter.
Some of the crappy things has been my almost utter disection from Jessica, whose conversations held some high points for me. Life goes on though, and we wade through the fetid swamp to reach the...desert beyond. Maybe theres an oasis coming up. I believe there is.
That oasis is moving in with Brian and Eric. I am looking foward to that with unparalleled enthusiasm. I have a month to go before large scale moving to the Cove occurs so if you want to make a visit and hang with me at the apartment than those days are dwindling quickly. That's about all I care to wrench forth from my frail body.
Dan
Yes. I know what they FUCKING HAVE at the IHOP.
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| Nostalgia |
[05 Feb 2006|10:57pm] |
The conversation I had earlier was far and away inadaqute to what I wished it to be, but when lost in the desert even drops are as precious as diamonds.
-Dan
Nerd city
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| Ideas_good_orBad <> i= 1 to 3 |
[30 Jan 2006|04:28pm] |
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mood |
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 hot like fires are hot |
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music |
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Kitten attacking my toes |
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I do believe I am going to consume several shots of vodka momentarily as a last tribute to my birthday and to this weekend that has turned out to be very much what I needed it to be.
A last drunken farewell to a wonderful few days of friendship and semi-relaxation. Why not eh?
Svedka here I come.
-Dan
Kites aren't the only things high.
PS. Ben has a nice firefox layout. Very nice indeed. Macesque if you will.
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| Tommorrow and birthdays |
[24 Jan 2006|09:55pm] |
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Action Action |
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Tommorrow my Mom is making spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread and having a coldstone cake for me as it is my birthday. If you are my friend and in town or whatnot tommorrow give me a call. As it stands now, no one is coming really because you all are out of town.
Hope someone can come.
-Dan
two three
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| Stolen bikes |
[17 Jan 2006|09:04pm] |
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 anxious |
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Nigga stole my bike |
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So Jessica had her much prized bike stolen. In tribute I would offer up on the altar of condolence this appropriate gem:
http://niggastolemybike.ytmnsfw.com
-Dan
Edited*
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| Application |
[16 Jan 2006|10:48pm] |
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mood |
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 Poser |
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music |
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Depeche Mode |
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I officially applied to FSU today for the fall semester. I suppose I am no longer speculating and have solidified my apparent move to Tallahassee. John...I will have to make a visit and we can start talking over some stuff.
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| The good ole days |
[15 Jan 2006|02:41am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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Depeche Mode |
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"I'm used to excluding fifty percent of my vocabulary when I talked to people, it was no different here - but she knew what I was talking about. We reminisced about our favorite LOGO programs, Microzine, and how many daughters you could lose to cholera travelling the Oregon Trail. We saw the Oregon Trail heaped high with discarded daughters, the road itself a valley between dead girls"
-Dan
Excessively drunk.
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| what...the... |
[04 Jan 2006|12:17pm] |
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 complacent |
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music |
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The shriners collection |
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What the hell is this? I laughed but can't decide what the thing was for.
Anyway, Wedding Crashers is an overly funny movie. I laughed a lot.
-Dan
Victim
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| More New Years |
[02 Jan 2006|11:11pm] |
Me and Scott throwing down in some Tekken. Also, a really cute sleeping Jessica next to me :P.
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| Fun times at new years |
[01 Jan 2006|10:33am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Panic! At the Disco |
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Friday was awesome...kudos to Ben for putting that together. Jessica came into town and we partied it up at the Jetties for a couple hours. The party moved toward Ben's house and we danced and made merry. Jessica was as badass as I recall her to be from that amazing trip to Gainsville with Ben oh so long ago. Here is a little present she left me:
So awesome.
Last night at Cory's was a blast. I brought a huge jar of pickles at Wal-Mart on a whim while running in the house with it over my head and yelling "I bring pickles!" when i got there. Ended up playing this guitar game for some hours and some Tekken. Mix that with some cool people and mingling and bear pong, and you have last night down pretty good. I saved New Years since we all almost forgot to toast at 12.
Anyway, I just got back from the bus station dropping Jessica off and now I may go to sleep. Jess it was a blast having you here the last couple days. I just regret not getting to watch Sin City with you.
-Dan
I put all those intestines back in.
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| Xmas |
[24 Dec 2005|12:46am] |
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mood |
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devious |
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music |
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Toad the Wet Sprocket |
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Merry Christmas and all other winter wonderland holidays you may be celebrating. Hope you all get what you want.
-Dan
Not posting enough since '95
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| Updates |
[17 Nov 2005|06:07pm] |
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chipper |
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I updated my background pic, check it out instead of being lazy and reading this on your friends tab.
-Dan
Frozen banana shakes.
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| Progession |
[08 Nov 2005|12:00am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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music |
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Finch |
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I played some Basketball yesterday with some guys from work. My legs have taken on "FORM OF" Spaghetti noodles. You know you need to go back to school when you don't have some form of word processor on your computer for 6 months. I should really install this pirated copy of Office 2003 but I haven't mustered the will to put it in the CD drive yet. I ate a banana so I hope my legs feel a little better tommorrow for work. After work at 4 shall be spent at Books A Million reading Feast for Crows until they close. I can't wait.
The Colts destroyed the Patriots. It looked like they were playing a college team or that the Patriots defense all ended up drinking Absinth before the game since they were never around the receivers.
I'm updating my ipod finally so that I can have fresh things to listen to while I sit in a chair reading for 7 hours. Should be fun.
-Dan
Forge the backdrop of reason.
::What does that mean?:: Who knows.
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| I got nothing |
[03 Nov 2005|11:42pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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Plain white T's |
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Im sitting here but I don't really have any news. I went skimming today probably for the last time of the season and scraped my leg up like an asshat.
Woot to Julie. You should tell me these things when we chat sometimes. On the same note having just read her journal, Jessica sorry I came off all wierd and stuff to you, but you make me nervous for some reason. You probably don't read my LJ but thats ok. Julie can show you or whatever.
I need some new LJ icons. I am way to lazy to look/make them though. I am way to lazy in general.
That's it folks.
-Dan
What if...you woke up next to the Burger King.
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